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Post by [ st r yder ] on Mar 7, 2007 12:26:09 GMT -5
At the end of the world Or the last thing I see You are Never coming home Never coming home Could I? should I? And all the things that you never ever told me And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me Never coming home Never coming home Could I? Should I? And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me
I compulsively pull my hand away, staring up at her from the corner of my eye.
'What happened to you? What makes you care so much about lowlife creatures such as my self?' I ask her, my tone only saying the truth. My eyes stay on her face, scrutinzing, unforgiving.
Get the feeling that you're never All alone and I remember now At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies
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Kalia
Queen's Army
Too stuborn to give in, too broken to care
Posts: 483
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Post by Kalia on Mar 7, 2007 12:33:19 GMT -5
I hold his eyes for a little and then look down. "I don't know. Many things happened to me, many dark things I hate talking about. But, It's just in my nature, not everyone's evil. Besides, even if you say, that you are a lowlife,doesn't mean you do't deserve to live. But it's just in my nature, long and hard story to explan. Just know that I do." Don't let him be trying to figure out my past...dear Spirits don't let him...
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Post by [ st r yder ] on Mar 7, 2007 23:03:15 GMT -5
At the end of the world Or the last thing I see You are Never coming home Never coming home Could I? should I? And all the things that you never ever told me And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me Never coming home Never coming home Could I? Should I? And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me
I contemplate her statement for a while, trying to desipher hidden meanings. When I find none of use, I speak again.
' But you know nothing of me. How do you know I have not killed the innocent? How do you know if I would kill you sooner than trust you?' I ask her, stll wondering on her trust. Still wondering why she would trust to be near me, as so many would have tried to kill me, to destroy me on the spot.
I stare at the burns on my hand for a while. This is what a friend had tried to stop, had tried to prevent. Me hurting myself, simply to stay sane. Should I let the nightmares come, simply waiting for them to quit, all the while praying that I am not driven to the point where I collapse? Or should I continue as I am, sleeping little, and when I do, hardly more than four hours?
And all the while, burning and hurting myself so I do not kill, so I stay awake.
Get the feeling that you're never All alone and I remember now At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies
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Kalia
Queen's Army
Too stuborn to give in, too broken to care
Posts: 483
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Post by Kalia on Mar 8, 2007 5:50:37 GMT -5
Kalia laughed. "Well if you wanted to kill me you would have done so already...seeing that you apear to be one of those beings that kill then ask questions." Then her face became dark. "On the other hand you don't know if I killed an inocent ether. I'm not as inocent as I appear. But on the other hand your Just Crazy!" She tried to lift up the heavy mood. "Also, do you know that if you get more rest then you will funktion better? Besides, not sleeping for who know's how long...well you will drive your self to beyand insanity!" (To your reply of him hurting himself...honestly i want to call him Emo...
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Post by [ st r yder ] on Mar 8, 2007 19:33:28 GMT -5
At the end of the world Or the last thing I see You are Never coming home Never coming home Could I? should I? And all the things that you never ever told me And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me Never coming home Never coming home Could I? Should I? And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me
' And what if I am already past the point of insanity,' I ask her, drawing my eyes away from my burns and to her face. I find a questioning in her eyes, a questioning that I am not ready to answer. That I will never be ready to answer.
Get the feeling that you're never All alone and I remember now At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies
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Kalia
Queen's Army
Too stuborn to give in, too broken to care
Posts: 483
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Post by Kalia on Mar 8, 2007 19:36:44 GMT -5
Beyand Insanity? "What? What...What do you mean? Although if you don't want to say..I won't push you..."
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Post by [ st r yder ] on Mar 8, 2007 19:46:35 GMT -5
At the end of the world Or the last thing I see You are Never coming home Never coming home Could I? should I? And all the things that you never ever told me And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me Never coming home Never coming home Could I? Should I? And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me
' Have you not already put it together? ' I ask with a bitter laugh. 'Calling myself a lowlife, speaking of killing the innocnt. Unless you are completely ignorat of the ways of the world I thought you would have guessed this by now, ' I say, my voice chortling.
I run my fingers down the scar on the side of my face, a slightly manic smile twisting my features.
' That wasn't on accident.'
[/right] Get the feeling that you're never All alone and I remember now At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies
[/size]
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Kalia
Queen's Army
Too stuborn to give in, too broken to care
Posts: 483
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Post by Kalia on Mar 8, 2007 19:53:08 GMT -5
"Well Figures it wasn't an accident...but hey, your not insane...just your self estime...is...below zero.."
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Post by [ st r yder ] on Mar 8, 2007 20:03:48 GMT -5
At the end of the world Or the last thing I see You are Never coming home Never coming home Could I? should I? And all the things that you never ever told me And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me Never coming home Never coming home Could I? Should I? And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me
' What is in question here is not my self esteem. I have no use for it anyway. What is being questioned here is my sanity. ' I shake my head slowly.
I adsentmindedly play with the silver necklace around my throat. 'No, it wasn't on accident. That scar... Marks the greatest change in life. But that is none of your concern.'
Get the feeling that you're never All alone and I remember now At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies
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Kalia
Queen's Army
Too stuborn to give in, too broken to care
Posts: 483
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Post by Kalia on Mar 8, 2007 20:06:33 GMT -5
"Everyone has a churning point in their life." I said, and looked outside. "No matter, no one is beyand the point where they can't be brought back...unless their dead.
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Post by [ st r yder ] on Mar 8, 2007 20:12:42 GMT -5
At the end of the world Or the last thing I see You are Never coming home Never coming home Could I? should I? And all the things that you never ever told me And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me Never coming home Never coming home Could I? Should I? And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me
'Sometimes that is the truth. I have been dead for years, thoughh not in the literal sense. You know nothing of me,but you believe that you can save me. Why? '
I feel myself saying as I study her face, a bitter, malicious tone to my words, until my last two statements.
Get the feeling that you're never All alone and I remember now At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies
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Kalia
Queen's Army
Too stuborn to give in, too broken to care
Posts: 483
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Post by Kalia on Mar 8, 2007 20:17:24 GMT -5
I still stare outside, avoiding his face. "Because. Because I've got nothing to believe. If the world is lost for me...at least there is hope for someone else. That's why when I hear someone calling I come to them. They don't know me, I don't know them. Sometimes I'm in the right place, and the right time...I've changed many lives of many creatures. Why not you?" I knew he was looking at me, but I couldn't bring my self to look at him...I felt as if he would be able to read my past, my soul...I couldnl't let him, or anyone else do that.
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Post by [ st r yder ] on Mar 9, 2007 18:53:39 GMT -5
At the end of the world Or the last thing I see You are Never coming home Never coming home Could I? should I? And all the things that you never ever told me And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me Never coming home Never coming home Could I? Should I? And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me
'You have more hope than I do,' I say, glancing at her as she turned her face away. I catch the sickening scent of her sorrow, only deepening my own.
' I do not believe I was calling, ' I say, my words now toneless.
All alone and I remember now At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies
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Kalia
Queen's Army
Too stuborn to give in, too broken to care
Posts: 483
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Post by Kalia on Mar 9, 2007 19:22:19 GMT -5
"Like i said, people don't even know they called...but in your case i believe i was just in the right time in the right place...that happened to me before." Yea, countless times. I wasn't going to tell him everything of my past...but he had a chance of having a life...if only he would let me help...
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Post by [ st r yder ] on Mar 9, 2007 19:41:03 GMT -5
At the end of the world Or the last thing I see You are Never coming home Never coming home Could I? should I? And all the things that you never ever told me And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me Never coming home Never coming home Could I? Should I? And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me
' You still do not give up hope for me, but for yourself, you've completely... abandoned hope. Why? ' I ask again. For once, I am the one asking the questions.
I finally notice how much like me she is. A completely hopless creature, left on this world to fend for themselves. Stop it, Kazeielan. You know what happened last time. MY own thoughts are scolding.
Get the feeling that you're never All alone and I remember now At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies
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