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Post by [ st r yder ] on Mar 13, 2007 17:25:52 GMT -5
At the end of the world Or the last thing I see You are Never coming home Never coming home Could I? should I? And all the things that you never ever told me And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me Never coming home Never coming home Could I? Should I? And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me
' Had I not been injured last night, you would be dead, ' I hiss. My hand goes for the knife in my pocket, though I will not use it. I will not let myself use it. Not on someone with so much faith in me. My words are not meant to be taken as a threat, though they have been more than once.
' You know nothing of me. You do not know why I beleive myself lost to the world. And yet you trust me. Kalia, never, never in more than two thousand years, has someone done that, ' I whisper, shaking my head. My hand stops gripping the knife to fall at my side as I drop my eyes to the ground and turn my face away.
Get the feeling that you're never All alone and I remember now At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies.
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Kalia
Queen's Army
Too stuborn to give in, too broken to care
Posts: 483
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Post by Kalia on Mar 13, 2007 17:31:10 GMT -5
I smile gently. "Well someone should...Sooner or later." I shake my head. "Maybe I don't know why, and what happened to you, but it doesn't mean you don't deserve to live a life. And see colors, not only dull colors of this life. Unlike me..." I whisper, the last sentence was bearly heard. "If I will help some one, I must trust them...or rather they should trust me...I haven't trusted anyone, in a long while. Too long I'll say." I take my knife and jab it into the ground near me. "If you want to kill me then do it. Your injury won't stop you. I can see that, even with it you can atack faster and stronger then me."
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Post by [ st r yder ] on Mar 13, 2007 17:48:16 GMT -5
At the end of the world Or the last thing I see You are Never coming home Never coming home Could I? should I? And all the things that you never ever told me And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me Never coming home Never coming home Could I? Should I? And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me
I remain silent for a while. Her words take me aback. I stand, though it does take a bit of effort, and walk over to her, placing my hands on her shoulders.
' Listen to me. I don't know why you think of yourself near as to what I do. And I know that I cannot tell you not to, be I can ask you to live the life your given. You will regret it later, believe me,' I say, my voice low, soft and urgent. Slowly, I drop my hands, leaning against the wall opposite her.
Get the feeling that you're never All alone and I remember now At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies.
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Kalia
Queen's Army
Too stuborn to give in, too broken to care
Posts: 483
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Post by Kalia on Mar 13, 2007 17:58:33 GMT -5
"Live the life your given...So you do know how to live." Hope shows through in my eyes. "But you see...my past is dark...for years now I've been searching...but in the end I only helped others find their happyness. When you are on the edge of insanity there isn't much to regret..." I say, noticing that he once had a life, and he once saw colors as they are...not the dull blackened or washed out version...Closing my eyes I ask. "Whad did happen to you? What made your world loose colors?" Somehow I'm afraid of his anger...
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Post by [ st r yder ] on Mar 13, 2007 19:09:48 GMT -5
At the end of the world Or the last thing I see You are Never coming home Never coming home Could I? should I? And all the things that you never ever told me And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me Never coming home Never coming home Could I? Should I? And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me
I see the hope flicker in her eyes.
' Yes, I have lived. But that was... millenia ago now. ' I fall silent for a while, catching the hint of fear in her voice.
' You need not worry about me hurting you,' I say, briefly, my voice calming, even to me. Again, I am silent, trying to plan out the details of my story.
' I will tell you what I know. But you cannot judge me, no matter what I've done. That is the only thing ou must promise me. '
Get the feeling that you're never All alone and I remember now At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies.
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Kalia
Queen's Army
Too stuborn to give in, too broken to care
Posts: 483
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Post by Kalia on Mar 13, 2007 19:31:25 GMT -5
I smiled. "I won't. No matter what you did."I place my hand on his shoulder. "But...In reachern you must let me help you." I say. After all if I'm not here for that why am I here?
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Post by [ st r yder ] on Mar 14, 2007 14:06:16 GMT -5
At the end of the world Or the last thing I see You are Never coming home Never coming home Could I? should I? And all the things that you never ever told me And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me Never coming home Never coming home Could I? Should I? And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me
' Alright. I'll... Try to lt you help me.' I only say "try" becuase I know not whether her helping me consists of me controlling my temper or not.
I sigh and drop my eyes to the ground. Slowly, I begin my story, the words forming hate in my mouth. They make me tremble with anger, though I know the case is lost because he is already dead.
' When I was young, I can't remember how young anymore, my family was taken from me. Murdered. Not even that; it was slaughter. But I was let live, though now I wish he'd killed me. I remember trying to stop him from killing my siblings and brother, but that made him angry. '
My hand goes to the scar over my eye, running down the ragged bump in memory. But I continue my story, twirling my knife in my hands.
' I was taken to a place where I was forced to fight. Figt or die. But then, I did not know of my... condition... my immortality. And I wish I was human. Beyond reason, I wish that I was human. ' There were creatures there, creautres that were killed off. Because people feared them. Feared what they would do to them. I killed many then, so many that I cannnot even recall the numbers. For sixteen years I stayed there. Sixteen years in hell. '
Again, I pause, feeling the muscles in my shoulders start to shake. My hand clutches the knife until bood drips onto my boots. I stay silent for a very long time, slowly gathering the strength to say what I promised I would.
' I escaped, after a while, but maybe I should have stayed there. I was chased down by bounty hunters. One of them got a bade through my ribs. I rememer a woman, she saved me. I beleieve her and her brother chased the few of them that were left off. They brought me to their home, cared for me. But I healed faster than what is normal. Still, I stayed there, determined to return the favor. Even after what had happened to me, I retained my honor. I still do. I came to love her, though her brother knew it before I did. She bore me a child, who held my... traits. He is an immortal, though I have not spoken to him in years. 'But of course, she was human. She would die. But not of the natural causes that would be expected, she, like everyone else I have ever known, was killed. Simply for my existance, for my being. For loving me. 'I lived for revenge, years after. I left my son with his aunt and uncle, and left to kill the bastard that had demolished all I ever wanted. Left me to my own devices. I know now that he knew what I was, but he did not expect for me to kill him. I did, though I was almost taken down in the process. It was he that told me what I was, what I am. '
I pause, feeling tears slide down my cheeks. I turn my face away, unwilling to let her see my shame. My shame for my weakness.
'After that, I returned to my son. But he hated me, though I gave him that right. I lived every day as though there was nothing left, for in fact, there was nothing. Until I met Fiamme. Our meeting was much like that of my first love, and I was the one that needed saving. For nearly five hundred years, I lived again. I saw life for what it could be. But there was another battle, one with a creature from hell. In fact, the she-demon was the one that did this to me, ' I lift my arm to prove a point.
'I believe Fiamme was killed in that battle. To this day, I cannot find her, I have tried. Dear god have I tried. My life always was unworthy of beauty, from the very start. I do not know how many I have killed in these thousands of years, but I do know that I do not disserve this. Any of this. Even a life like this one is to good for me.' I feel more tears, more marks of the shame that I never wanted. I speak again, my voice hardly a whisper.
'And now you know. You know why I do not disserve to live, why I do not disserve anything near to what you offer me. '
Get the feeling that you're never All alone and I remember now At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies.
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Kalia
Queen's Army
Too stuborn to give in, too broken to care
Posts: 483
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Post by Kalia on Mar 15, 2007 4:51:02 GMT -5
"You are wrong in so many ways..." I whisper, looking at him. My hand comes up and wipes a tear from his cheek and let my hand slide to take his knife, Gently pulling it out of his hand. "Tears are no weakness, they only show that you care, that you feel, that you live. Think of it! Would Fiamme want you to lose hope? Would she want you to give up? Whould your first love want you to do that? No! God, No! Though your story is darker it isn't much different from mine. But revenge...It could be sweet, sweeter then life. But it leaves an empty hollow in your heart. I engulfs it in Ice, that is impossible to break. Impossibe to escape...That Ice, that pain, that sweetness, it all combines and dulls the colors. Forbiting you to live, alowing you to only exist. You walk this world staring into space wishing you could be dead but your not. With each passing day it grows and grows...Untill it has no where to go. No where to hide. And you give up. No! No, no, no! You deserve to live! You only did what you thought were right, you are not to blame. Scars or not, pain or not, sweet or bitter, the world must have color. You are not the one who started the blood bath. You only end it. True there were many more adittions to it, but it was over." I took a pause there, trying to regain my breathing. "You fought in a battle, and survived! Not many did. Just look around you, you must see some beauty in something...Kaze...find something in your heart, or your mind that makes you go on. That won't let you quite. Find it and hold it tight! Do not let it go. If you realize that you are not what you think you are then life will have colors again, you may even find Her if she's alive...or you mind find some one else...In any case break the Ice that is sorrounds you. Destroy the shadow of doubt and hurt. I know it isn't easy...but you must. For your sake, for their's..." I looked away, leaning against the wall I was trying to figure out why he's like this...why he gave him self this life. But I can't. Something isn't in the right place.
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Post by [ st r yder ] on Mar 15, 2007 13:23:20 GMT -5
At the end of the world Or the last thing I see You are Never coming home Never coming home Could I? should I? And all the things that you never ever told me And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me Never coming home Never coming home Could I? Should I? And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me
At her hand on my cheek, I flinch away. My knife slips from my fingers as I let my hands fall to the ground. I close my eyes, feeling a wave of gratitude wash through me. Her words should start hope in me, I know that. But nothing awakens, even as she speaks them. I should feel something other than this hatred, I know that. But I can't. I have tried, and I do still, and I have found it impossible.
' There is nothing left in me, ' I say, my voice still a hoarse whisper, ' My fight, it's gone. Destroyed, since I lost her.'
I rest my head on my shoulder, biting back things I might say, things I might do. My eyes stay closed, everything I wanted to say dies in my throat.
' It is my fault. Because of me, Arra was killed. Because of me, she was murdered. I killed her, simply with my existance.'
The rest of my words won't come. Not for a while, until I regain control of what emotions I somehow manage to feel.
Get the feeling that you're never All alone and I remember now At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies.
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Kalia
Queen's Army
Too stuborn to give in, too broken to care
Posts: 483
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Post by Kalia on Mar 15, 2007 13:57:37 GMT -5
I looked away, somewhere anywhere but him. "In that case you could say that so many people I knew died only because I knew them. No. It isn't your or my fault. She was killed because she loved you. Because if you didn't live she would have hated herself if she was alive and you dead. Arra would have killed herself...think of it. Just think." I whisper understanding at last what's wrong
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Post by [ st r yder ] on Mar 15, 2007 14:08:29 GMT -5
At the end of the world Or the last thing I see You are Never coming home Never coming home Could I? should I? And all the things that you never ever told me And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me Never coming home Never coming home Could I? Should I? And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me
I say nothing for a while, only become increasingly aware of how weak and defeated I must appear.
' Do you think I have not tried to end myself? ' I ask, a bemused tone to my voice. But I keep my eyes closed, my head resting on my shoulder.
Get the feeling that you're never All alone and I remember now At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies.
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Kalia
Queen's Army
Too stuborn to give in, too broken to care
Posts: 483
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Post by Kalia on Mar 15, 2007 14:13:51 GMT -5
"You probly have...but...But it doesn't mean that you can't change..."I say unsertanly. "You can still make up...Arra wouldn't like you to kill yourself. so...you just...just..." I couldn't find the right worlds.
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Post by [ st r yder ] on Mar 15, 2007 14:20:10 GMT -5
At the end of the world Or the last thing I see You are Never coming home Never coming home Could I? should I? And all the things that you never ever told me And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me Never coming home Never coming home Could I? Should I? And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me
My eyes snap open to stare at her.
'Just what? ' I find myself saying, my voice rises with every word. ' Do you not think that I have tried? I. Am. Hopeless! ' The last word is a roar.
My fist slams into the floor of the cave in frustration. If I can only make her see... Make her know what I know, know that I cannot live again. The pain itself is too great.
Get the feeling that you're never All alone and I remember now At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies.
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Kalia
Queen's Army
Too stuborn to give in, too broken to care
Posts: 483
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Post by Kalia on Mar 15, 2007 14:27:52 GMT -5
"You. Are. Not. Hopeless!" I screamed. "Listen to your self. You just need...to...well...you need to see...see the light again. The world isn't...dull. And no, you don't need to force me to know anything...I undrstand your pain, I can sence it...but please...please, please just listen...Just, believe." I whisper, I was loosing my voice.
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Post by theron on Mar 15, 2007 19:58:36 GMT -5
From deep within the mountains, two-slit eyes watch the wounded intruders with vengeful hate.. for what shoulod these two b doing upon his land?
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