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Post by [ st r yder ] on Sept 11, 2007 18:17:24 GMT -5
The intention is clear, I stare, with this left hand, unable to be worded Every time I bleed, there lies the reason to live ... And I discover words being so vivid and bright
Even loved ones scatter like petals from flowers in my hand So even if I engraved the meaning that I lived in my hand, it will only be known as flowers of vanity
The Final
One by one it multiplies ... why be a sad bait?
Deep within the hell of my heart ... I can't go back A self-torture loser, not being able to see tomorrow Suicide is the proof of life
I nod, extend the phantom limb so many fear, but it is the only uninjured part of me. I pull him to his feet, as weightless as the very air to me.
I glance at the sword, still stained with my blood. It sends a ripple of the vengeance-seeking demon through me, my mortal hand clenching to control myself. Yes, control, that is what I need now. Control of my screaming muscles, my still-bleeding wounds. Shake the notion of killing him out of my head, keep walking. Left. Right. Left. Right. That is it, Kazeielan, keep yourself in control. You are in command of your mind, your mind is not in command of you.
I do not know whether I should take him back to that hell-hole we made. So much blood, everywhere, more of it mine than I are to admit. I decide against it. It will trigger things, thoughts of vengeance. Instead I choose a different cave, one closer to this spot. If Daemon moves to much, he will bleed far faster than he would staying still.
I set him down in the darkness, my preternatural eyes accustomed to darkness far deeper than this. Thank the gods I still have my coat.
I draw out a needle, something that I have learned is a necessity, then glance at Daemon's bare face, maybe to steady him, maybe to see if he has any-offensive?-motives. But the needle does not stay poised above his flesh for long, because I know of the need for haste.
Well-practised motions draw the skin together over the muscle, over the veins, and it does not take long for them to be shut. I cut the thread, sit down not far from him, wipe off the needle. Now to tend to my own wounds.
Deep within the hell of my heart ... I can't go back A self-torture loser, not being able to see tomorrow Suicide is the proof of life
Even loved ones scatter like petals from flowers in my hand So even if I engraved the meaning that I lived in my hand, it will only be known as flowers of vanity
So I can't live What's lost can't be born again
A song that's not even seeking the proof of living Let's put an end ... The Final
Lets bloom flowers of attempted suicide.
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Post by Daemon [Naryae] on Sept 11, 2007 20:24:47 GMT -5
Every time we lie awake After every hit we take
I cringed as the needle slipped between my skin, injecting whatever substance it contained into my blood stream. I watched it in silence, studying the motion, the slurring of the liquid, the jab of pain in my arm. It could have very likely been poison, but I figured it didn't matter, as I was helpless no matter what. Bedsides, it just meant that I would trade one hell for another.
I could feel a memory floating in the back of my mind, one I thought was supposed to be... sad, yes. That sounded right. It was another one of those deaths I'd seen. Someone close to me. Mother? No... my aunt... She'd been sick, I remember now. Coughing up blood, usually on me... I'd called in a healer...
To bad I didn't have the money to pay him, and suffered the punishment is "friends" dealt me for the inconvenience.
I pulled my arm back sharply on reflex, associating the tool with a bad memory in particular. But it was a pure, inbred reaction that I could not resist.
As the needle slipped out and he turned to tend for himself, I curled into myself, wrapping around my coat around my increasingly cold form I knew I wasn't supposed to be cold, that it was mid-day and warm, but the shivers that coarse down my spine tell a different story. A dangerous one. I remember how cold my aunt used to get, especially before she died. At least hell would be warmer.
Every feeling that I get But I haven’t missed you yet
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Post by [ st r yder ] on Sept 15, 2007 16:10:47 GMT -5
This is not natural A bunch of holes where the dead used to be underground Forget supernatural 'cause all those resting in peace are out walking the streets Yeah with no heartbeat
This is not possible An empty hole in your chest where your heart used to beat Does this mean what I think it means? Just how could both you and me be about as dead as we could be Yeah with no heartbeat
I stop with the needle poised, the tip already piercing the skin near the sides of the gouge on my chest. Gods damnit, I might have been too late for him. I can hear the beat of his heart, so slow, so weak-sounding.
Kill him, finish it. Finish what you started, Kazeielan, whispers the voice I know so well as my own.
I stick the needle through my flesh again, the pain bringing the tiny twitch of a smile to my face. I will not fall again to the temptations of my blood addiction. Not today. And his death will not be the sacrafice for my fixation with death.
I turn to him, my eyes locked on his slowly-raising sides. Each breath bringing him closer. And then, my tongue starts to form the words of the darkness, the words that will bring him some kind of heath, until his body can take up the rest. Calling forth the shadows, beckoning out what I know as evil, but what will obey my every whim. Oh, damnation, how you love your precious gift.
I can feel the cold sweat on my forehead, the heat of the fire off to my left, and still the words do not want to die. But when I finally break off the flow, stop the cousing of the power through me, I can feel the fatigue. I think, maybe, I have taken to much out of myself, too much strength. I draw my coat over me, move closer to the fire, let the lids of my eyes close and slip into the darkness of my subconcious mind, not thinking of the nightmares.
Take a walk with me, Walk with the dead 'Cause you knew that we had to die sometime Well darling, Tonight could be
Let your voice shred miles of diamond skies Just to walk as they wake in the darkness Well darling tonight could be a beautiful night to die
Across the sky they can hear you on the other side A scream that's loud enough to wake the dead All alone you bought tickets for the nightmare as you wake the dead.
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Post by Daemon [Naryae] on Sept 15, 2007 16:51:53 GMT -5
I slowly felt my strength return as quickly as it had been sapped, my cold body struggling to warm itself up again. My breathing became heavy, but it was better then struggling for a breath. My eyes, half closed, wandered over to my new-found companion, suspecting him to be the source of this new health.
You're a fool,
I growled, struggling to rise slightly.
My demon can take care of me.
I remarked, though I wasn't entirely sure about that. He'd used so much of his power, his presence in my mind was weak at best. In fact, I could barely tell he was there.
I watched with a mixture of dismay and relief as Kaze laid down. Whether he was asleep, unconscious, or just resting, I couldn't tell, but it made me feel better that I could watch him from where I lay. And with that comfort I ceased my struggle to rise, collapsing gratefully to the earth and ignoring how cold and hard it's touch was.
As the silence came to me, my mind wandered within itself. There wasn't much to think about, since I didn't really care about anything, but there was much to understand now. Beat up or not, I could still think straight. I would resist the fever's illusions as long as I could.
... Tanin?
I asked. The demon did not reply, to my dismay.
Silence, which had led to thought, was quickly leading to boredom, which in turn now lead my to sleep. I was somewhat curious as to what would happen in my sleep. Would I dream? Would I remember things? Would I feel happy, sad? THere was only one way to discover the truth.
My eyes closed, reluctantly letting go of the image of Kaze.
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Post by [ st r yder ] on Sept 16, 2007 17:48:52 GMT -5
This is not natural A bunch of holes where the dead used to be underground Forget supernatural 'cause all those resting in peace are out walking the streets Yeah with no heartbeat
This is not possible An empty hole in your chest where your heart used to beat Does this mean what I think it means? Just how could both you and me be about as dead as we could be Yeah with no heartbeat
Vague faces, disembodied voices. Fear, rising higher than anything else. And I run, until it seems that my lungs will burst, and that my legs will fall off. Still I press on, not know what I am running from, and with only the faintest impression of what I am running to. Death, defeat. Insanity.
A set of blue eyes flash before me, icy and so deep. And a voice, like a far-off memory, so far away that I know nothing of what it says. Blood, so much blood. And devotion, a sense that if I do not hurry, someone will die, and I will be left with my collapsed spirit, my broken heart.
Now my fear rips from my chest in a bitter howl, a scream of my horrible fear. I sit bolt upright, my eyes wide against the darkness and my heart pounding. I stand up, walk away from the smoke of the fire, toward the enterance of the cave. I run my figners through my sweatsoaked hair, notice my shirt glued to my chest with moisture. Damnit. Easy, Kazeielan, I say to myself, over and over again. My breathing relaxes, my heart slows, the fear fades from my eyes.
Take a walk with me, Walk with the dead 'Cause you knew that we had to die sometime Well darling, Tonight could be
Let your voice shred miles of diamond skies Just to walk as they wake in the darkness Well darling tonight could be a beautiful night to die
Across the sky they can hear you on the other side A scream that's loud enough to wake the dead All alone you bought tickets for the nightmare as you wake the dead.
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Post by Daemon [Naryae] on Sept 16, 2007 18:06:25 GMT -5
Before Kaze's cries awoke me from my sleep, my mind was deep within it's own illusions and stories. The dream I saw was no more pleasent then Kaze's, though it might be better classified as a memory then a dream. A memory I had almost forgotten, but which always saw fight to rise up in the most inopportune times.
"Tanin!" I screamed, pushing myself off the cold floor. I slipped in my overseer's blood, the liquid staining the mage's robes. I was happy about that, happier then I should have been, I knew, but I wanted to see my friend. The mages must have been wrong, Tanin would survive. The demon wouldn't take him over like the others, Tanin was stronger then that. It was just supposed to be the two of us, Tanin and I, escaping together. How could we escape together if Tanin was dead? "Get up! We have to go!" I screamed, tears streaming down my face in unstoppable rivers. My shoulders bobbed in held back sobs, eyes reddening by the second. “Get up, they’re coming!” I shook the lifeless body in desperation, and the lifeless eyes opened in reply, causing me to call back. Well, not lifeless. Not yet… “Cold...” Tanin muttered, his teeth chattering together. “I’m so cold… I… hate cold.” “Tanin, you have to get up…” The boy only smiled, blood dribbling from the corner of his mouth. “Sorry…” “Then…. Then shift into me, take my body.” “I… can’t do that to you. Then you’d… cease to exist…” “Then... then…” I struggled, trying to think of something,. What use was a brilliant mind if I couldn’t even use it when I wanted to? I was so praised for my power and genius, but... I still couldn’t help… “Then enter my mind! You said you did that once with a mage… do it with me!” “I... can’t. I have more then the human mind can handle… It would destroy us both.” “Then leave behind the demon!” “I... don’t know if I can…” I bit his lip, tasting my blood. I couldn’t stand this. I knew, right around the corner, the mages were coming, coming to capture Tanin’s soul. They would give it me, add it to the others already collected in my arm, so he could I more powerful. Always more powerful, more deadly, more like a slave to the wizards… "TRY IT! I don't want... I don't want your power, Tanin... I don't want them to give you to me... not like the others..." I cried, finally letting the sobs out. I couldn’t contain them anymore. "Please..." "Look at me, Daemon..." "I won't-" The words were cut off as our eyes met, Tanin using his special power. As his body died, his mind remained, but inside me. But... something was... wrong... Tanin? I asked, still clutching the lifeless body in my hands. There was no reply, but I could feel a presence... somewhere... in the back of my head... Tanin isn't here right now... a voice, dark, grating, and painful replied, causing me to clutch my ears. And Tanin isn't going to be here... Thank you for your help, boy. I am one step closer to freedom with your body as my host. I screamed, not even noticing the hands that clutched at me, dragging me to my feet and way from my friend's body. I couldn’t believe, it, Tanin had failed. This was Tanin's demon... the power he emitted was so powerful, I almost couldn't bare it. I couldn't defeat this one like the last, not without a fight that would end in my own death. The two of us were stuck together... for eternity.
My eyes opened, ears catching and holding onto the sound of Kaze's cries. How well timed, but I wasn't entirely convinced it was his voice which had dragged me from the memory. Whatever, it didn't matter. We were both up now, and we were both alive so far. Whatever dreams or memories we'd had in the dark, were now far away.
... then why was my face so wet with tears?
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Post by [ st r yder ] on Sept 16, 2007 18:30:57 GMT -5
This is not natural A bunch of holes where the dead used to be underground Forget supernatural 'cause all those resting in peace are out walking the streets Yeah with no heartbeat
This is not possible An empty hole in your chest where your heart used to beat Does this mean what I think it means? Just how could both you and me be about as dead as we could be Yeah with no heartbeat
That voice... Those eyes... I know that they will haunt me. For how long, I am not sure, but I cannot pay attention to them. I turn around, dropping my hands and ambling slowly to the fire.
I sit across from Daemon, my eyes locked on his face. Tears make his cheeks shine in the dark, but I know better than to ask. But I do not hide my stare, do not even bother. Still, I cannot help but feel sympathy, because I know what nightmares are like. True, I do not know if his are worse, and I would not be surprised if they were, but something in me wants to help. Yet, I say nothing, do not show that I even remotely feel anything, for a while.
" I would ask if you are okay, but that would be pointless," I say after thinking over the words carefully.
Take a walk with me, Walk with the dead 'Cause you knew that we had to die sometime Well darling, Tonight could be
Let your voice shred miles of diamond skies Just to walk as they wake in the darkness Well darling tonight could be a beautiful night to die
Across the sky they can hear you on the other side A scream that's loud enough to wake the dead All alone you bought tickets for the nightmare as you wake the dead.
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Post by Daemon [Naryae] on Sept 16, 2007 18:58:24 GMT -5
I wouldn't have even thought of asking.
I replied, struggling to form the words. With a sigh I pushed off my hard stone bed, rising up and quickly falling down as dizziness turned my head around. Grimacing I pushed through it, half stumbling, half crawling to the fire where I sat watching the flames. In silence. Utmost silence, save for the rare crackle and breaking of the wood. I felt like crap, and I imagined I looked as such. I ran the back of my hand across my cheeks, pushing away the stray tears which lingered there despite my hatred of them.
Bad night...
I muttered, looking up for a moment at Kaze. My eyes just as quickly drifted back down, not wanting to peer at that face. IN my mind, that face belonged to a dead man.
So were do we go from here?
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Post by [ st r yder ] on Sept 22, 2007 22:37:41 GMT -5
This is not natural A bunch of holes where the dead used to be underground Forget supernatural 'cause all those resting in peace are out walking the streets Yeah with no heartbeat
This is not possible An empty hole in your chest where your heart used to beat Does this mean what I think it means? Just how could both you and me be about as dead as we could be Yeah with no heartbeat
[/center]
I catch his uneasieness, with that eeire sixth sense of mine, and it makes me go slightly on the defensive. Why, I cannot know, nor do I think that I ever will, it is simply a thing that I do not question for it has always been the way that I have been.
"Truthfully, I have no idea,"
I say with a bit of a laugh. Humorless, as so much about me always is. I run my fingers over the tight stiching on my chest, think of the battle the night before and how he was the one that had killed me. He had won. I had been outfought, that in itself demands my respect.
"I was on my way nowhere, but now that I think of it, there is a bit of a... buisness proposition that a man has for me in Celestine."
Buisness proposition, oh how innocent I make it sound. But I have fallen from grace and innocence a long, long while ago. No, killing is what I plan to do, or something of the sort. As long as it pays well enough.
"I think, as well, that I am running low on food other than flesh. It does not bother me, but your tastes I know nothing of."
Oh, Kazeielan, you make yourself sound so much better than you are. So much more... concerned. The thought pulls the corner of mymouth into a weak smile, and then it is gone, replaced by my stony silence.
Take a walk with me, Walk with the dead 'Cause you knew that we had to die sometime Well darling, Tonight could be
Let your voice shred miles of diamond skies Just to walk as they wake in the darkness Well darling tonight could be a beautiful night to die
Across the sky they can hear you on the other side A scream that's loud enough to wake the dead All alone you bought tickets for the nightmare as you wake the dead.
[/size]
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Post by Daemon [Naryae] on Sept 30, 2007 17:28:40 GMT -5
Somewhere beyond happiness and sadness I need to calculate What creates my own madness[/i][/color] [/sup] Business...
I laughed, because I could discern the truth behind that remark. People like us never had "business," which he and I both new. Yet, we still found the need to make such remarks. Funny, that, if you think on it.
But, this posed a question. What is it exactly I planned to do myself/ Kaze seemed to have plans, of a sort. He at least had a... a job to do, if you will. Did I really plan on tagging along with him, like some stray dog a a hopeful? Maybe a few years back I would have leaped at the chance to further my own talents, but I had the feeling I was beyond him. I had, after all, killed him, hadn't I? Unless that had been a fluke. None the less, I didn't really desire to be with him longer then was needed. What could he offer me?
Protection, security, money, and... someplace. Anyplace, really, I needed a plan myself, I needed some... business of some sort. So many years of aimless wandering, so much time without anything specific to mention, think on, do.... I almost felt like killing myself for having spent so much time pondering and being concerned over nothing.
Revenge. The word rang through my head.
[/center] It isn't possible To never tell the truth But the reality is I'm getting away with murder [/i][/color][/right][/sup] Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back And never moving forward so there'd never be a past
Revenge... revenge... why did I care about revenge? Why was that still important to me? Why did I still care about it? WHY?
I drew in a sharp breath; an attempt to calm myself. My pulse raced faster with each moment, anger flowing through me like Kaze's drugs. But I couldn't let it take over, some little voice inside sang those words to me. Don't give in. Run from it, run from it Daemon...
I didn't hear Kaze's question for a long time, not so much because I was entranced by a web of my own thoughts, but because one thought continued to reverberate inside my head, another note in the melody of the dissonant opera that was my life. I believe this thought would be akin to a snapped violin string.
Ehm, whatever.... What kind of flesh are we talking about, though?
I remarked, turning my head to look at him.
It's easier to run Replacing this pain with something numb It's so much easier to go Than face all this pain here all alone
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