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Post by [ st r yder ] on Jun 18, 2007 19:50:25 GMT -5
" I may not lose something, but who is to say I will not gain anything?" I ask. She does not know what I seek, does not know that, maybe, if I save one life, I can be forgiven for the taking of another. I hope that she is not one of those telepathic elves, because there are things in my head that I cannot deal with myself, let alone anyone else. Then again, maye there are things that I want people to see, I am just far too much of a coward to tell them myself. Far too coward to trust anyone.
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Post by gwenivean on Jun 20, 2007 2:42:25 GMT -5
I cant help but let it slip just once and only for a second. Who's life to you seek to redeem? I ask before I can gt a grip on myself. God...mother of...how could I let myself go like that? I shake my head and look away from him. This gift is becoming to be a burden.
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Post by [ st r yder ] on Jun 20, 2007 13:47:42 GMT -5
My thin eyebrows furrow as I stare at her. "So. You are one of the mind-readers," I say, in an almost scrutinizing way. She does not look as though she meant it, but , nevertheless, it happened. I sigh and clench my jaw. I do not really plan to answer her question; there are so many lives that I am seeking to gain redemption for.
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Post by gwenivean on Jun 20, 2007 16:02:52 GMT -5
I'm sorry I didn't mean to let it slip, I'm usually very good at keeping to myself I mumble stepping around him. My time here is worn out. I just need to leave and continue alone. The way it was meant to be.
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Post by [ st r yder ] on Jun 21, 2007 17:15:14 GMT -5
" It's fine. You should know why I'm still trying not to get you to kill yourself," I say, suddenly in front of her. The corner of my mouth pulls into a smile, one that I hope it kind, but I am sure that it comes out twisted and evil. I cannot help it. It is simply how I am, really.
{ ooc; GAH! short posts.... grar.... }
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Post by gwenivean on Jun 21, 2007 19:42:54 GMT -5
I let out a small sigh and step around him again. His smile makes it look as though he's going to kill me but I don't think he will. He wont even let me kill myself. Thank you for the gesture but find someone else to save. Or what ever you want to call it. I walk faster then before and shove my hands in my pockets.
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Post by [ st r yder ] on Jun 27, 2007 19:25:05 GMT -5
I turn aroud, my arms crossed over my chest. "Why? Why do you think you must die?" The question has been on my tongue since I saw her at the falls. I raise an eyebrow at her, in an almost expectant sort of way.
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Post by gwenivean on Jun 27, 2007 19:37:03 GMT -5
There are some things that are not meant to be said and others that are. But this, this is a war I have to fight on my own, and if I was to tell you. Human nature would come into play and your determination to save me would only become stronger, that is not a fire I wish to fuel. I speak in a light voice but my meaning in them is strong. My fight. Not his or the rest of the worlds. Though I never meant for it to become death. It has and theres nothing I can do about it. I cant change who or what I am or the things I have done. But I can seek forgiveness by giving my own life. My life means so little really. I am but one of millions. When I die some where one will be born. Thats the circle of life. And maybe just maybe I can make this life a little better for the little one him or her self if I'm not in it.
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Post by [ st r yder ] on Jun 27, 2007 19:52:25 GMT -5
"Human nature?" I laugh at this. "Human nature means nothing to me. I am not human. I have my own ways of doing things." My maniac laughter fades. "But, maybe I would. You would have to tell me to find out though, wouldn't you?"
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Post by gwenivean on Jun 27, 2007 20:02:29 GMT -5
I shake my head with a slight smile on my face then pick up the pace of my walking. This guy just doesn't want to give up does he? The thought brings a more bitter smile to my face. What if I do it now? While he's standing here watching. Would it make that big of a difference? As I contemplate I pull a knife from my waist band and spin it in the palm of my hand like I do every time I really have to think about something big. It's more of a nervous habit really. I guess I'll never know then, will I? I call over my shoulder and giving a small laugh. I'm not going to tell him what I've done and thats that.
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Post by [ st r yder ] on Jul 3, 2007 16:15:03 GMT -5
"Why not? Give me a chance," I do not follow her, do not give any hint to the extent of what I am offering her. "What you have done cannot be any worse than my own actions." There is a tone to my voice, something calming, something twistedly gentle. I just do not know how that got there.
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Post by gwenivean on Jul 3, 2007 17:19:00 GMT -5
At first my pace slows but I speed it back up. There is no reason for me to stick around with this guy and his physco bull. I don't give chances. my voice is calm and almost ....tempting? As though I'm tempting him to stop me. Tempting him to take every knife from me. Tempting him to have to search me for them. My body stiffens slightly and I cant help but smile. Though he's annoying as hell, him being there. Makes me feel, slightly calm. Almost as though there might be a reason to live.
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Post by [ st r yder ] on Jul 3, 2007 17:37:20 GMT -5
"Any chance you could make an exception?" I raise an eyebrow at her, crossing my thin arms over my narrow chest. Why in the nine levels of hell am I asking her this? Why am I even speaking to her? What in hell is wrong with me?
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Post by gwenivean on Jul 3, 2007 18:40:30 GMT -5
Wouldn't that fall under the category of giving a chance. I say with a slight chuckle. He wont give up will he? My smile grows and I turn to look at him. The blade that was in my hand "slips" and a small line of crimson pain coats my palm. At first I don't pay attention to it but when blood hits the ground I cant help but glance down at it. A wicked smile comes to my face and I slice a thin line across my stomach. Oops
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Post by [ st r yder ] on Jul 3, 2007 19:51:39 GMT -5
"It might," I say with the tiniest of smiles. Then I smell the blood. I cannot hep but want to know why she is doing it. Her actions cannot be any worse than mine; I have found that that is nigh impossible. "But you could always think of it as something else."
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