Runa
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Posts: 128
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Post by Runa on Mar 15, 2010 11:53:49 GMT -5
Runa chuckled, imagining some girl hitting him with a frying pan. "I like her... though, you should be happy that the frying pan wasn't hot, else it would hurt alot longer." She pointed out slyly, as she imagined the whole thing, quite amuzing! Seemed as if he agreed. From what she knew, and that wasn't much in that department.
"You? An emotional baggage?" Runa blinked before laughing. "Hun, you are one of the more stable people I know!"
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guy
Refugee
There is love in the red letters, in the red letters.
Posts: 184
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Post by guy on Mar 15, 2010 12:41:40 GMT -5
"This took place a few years after my family's death. I was an emotional wreck, flash backs were frequent, and I was very unstable. He had hoped that the young lady would help me move on, but as is evident by the frying pan, she didn't share the same sentiment as my friend. That relationship didn't last long, all of two hours of talking I think... I had a flash back and well... it was all down hill from there. Hence the frying pan." He looked down at his hands. "I'm more stable now, and the flash backs are not as frequent, but at for a long time I would try and end my life, but there was always someone there to pull me out of the depths of my despair. I was desperate enough to sell my soul to Waefae to try and bring her back. Does that speak of loyalty, insanity, or complete despair?"
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Runa
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Posts: 128
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Post by Runa on Mar 15, 2010 17:20:03 GMT -5
"Dispair." Runa answered simply, her tone flat and emotionless as she looked at Guido. "Compleate and utter helplessness before plunging into a dark abyss. Into oblivion." She chose not to eleborate on that further. She's been there. Tried suicide a few time... failed... gave up on it. Life was life, no matter how horrid or twisted, or messed up it was. It was life. Eventualyl it will end, wheather from a dagger or from whithering into dust. Eventually it all ends. The objective then becomes to wait it out.
"What are flash backs... and how do you see them?" Runa asked before he could ask or tell her to elaborate, if he felt like asking that is. It seemed as if he learned not to question most things she does. Smart boy. Stupid, and idiotic, but smart boy.
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guy
Refugee
There is love in the red letters, in the red letters.
Posts: 184
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Post by guy on Mar 17, 2010 22:42:22 GMT -5
"A flash back is when you remember something either happy, sad or frightening that you are trying to forget or have forgotten. In my case it is the violent deaths of my family. It is usually triggered by pain either emotional or physical, a situation, a familiar face, or an item that once belonged to a person you knew from around the time of the event. I see them in my memory. Whatever is going on around me fades and I am once more at my house fighting Waefae's servants, fleeing for my life, and then returning to have my sister die in my arms and bury the dead. For a while I attempted to repress the memories, but when Guido became my symbiont everything flooded back in and I started having flash backs. I can't control my actions during flash backs and have set things on fire in an attempt to change the past. I watch the entire thing play out, but I feel like I'm part of it at the same time. I can see my actions but am not doing them. I try to call out to them at times, forgetting that it is just a memory of sorts, but it always feels so real," Guido said as he looked into Runa's cold eyes. "I'm thinking you may know what this feels like. Someone who's been around as long as you is sure to have many repressed memories, or things you wish you could forget that keep coming back into your mind."
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Runa
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Posts: 128
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Post by Runa on Mar 28, 2010 22:14:47 GMT -5
(Sorry I haven't replied in a while... my muse got into a hissy fit... and then I ran out of time...)
Runa listened to him, her eyebrow occasionaly rising. That made sence... in a way... and in a way it seemed odd, and very off. She understood triggers well enough. Though were simple. But, loosing control of one's actions purely because of a memory, no matter how terrible... that seemed wrong. Not only wrong, but very unlikely. After all, if one knows that it is a memory, and that it is gone, then how can one be affected by it so much, as to forget himself on that level.
"We all have repressed memories. But, they are what they are, and should remain nothing more then repressed. None come back." Runa answered sharply. She disliked how he kept trying to get something out of her. Or make her relate to something, to make her seem more human. She wasn't human. Maybe, long ago... but that time is gone. Long gone. Things of the past, never come back.
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guy
Refugee
There is love in the red letters, in the red letters.
Posts: 184
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Post by guy on Mar 29, 2010 18:15:04 GMT -5
"Mine do. It's like waking up from a bad dream, but I was never asleep during it. I forget that it is a memory, and that's why I loose control of my actions, not all the time, but sometimes. It's even worse as a night mare. Believe me, I wish I could suppress it, but I never fully can. All I can hope is that they become less vivid and painful as the years pass. Not everyone has the mental abilities you do Runa,, but I guess that's what makes me human." He looked at her. Something he had said had put her on edge. She had really lost the ability to fully empathize with people, to understand human pain in some way, but she had once known it. It must have hurt so bad that she shut herself completely down emotionally. He wondered what the human Runa had been like, but he didn't dare to ask her. She'd tell him if and when she was ready, which meant most likely never.
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Runa
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Posts: 128
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Post by Runa on Mar 30, 2010 0:03:12 GMT -5
Runa laughed. Though, her laughter almost sounded deranged, full of absurdity, irony, bitterness. It echoed of coldness, just like the rest of her. She shook her head, he was wrong.
"I was never human. At least, if I was, then I do not have that memory, nor any that would assosiate with that time." Demented amuzement was playing with her features. She understood his reference to him being humane, while she was the exact opposite. It was fact. "Let me tell you a small secret. I don't have miraculous mental abilities. Heck, I doubt anyone in this blasted world even has any left.... No. It is being alive for centuries. Time. It is a magical thing. A cruel thing, but magical and fascinating non the less. And because of it, any emotion, any pain, anything... died away."
He was right. She wasn't human. It was long ago that she was. A care free child...smiling, and laughing... then everything was taken away. Replaced by a viod where humanity, sympathy, or any basic kindness did not exist. Yes, he got her with the comment. But she isn't going to show it. Not here. Not like this. Not to him.
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guy
Refugee
There is love in the red letters, in the red letters.
Posts: 184
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Post by guy on Mar 30, 2010 15:59:40 GMT -5
"Time alone cannot make a person loose their humanity. It is something we willingly give up, allowing time to make us callous, or we just get so used to seeing death that it ceases to affect us in any way. Time has helped ease the pain, but it cannot make the pain stop coming. While I may still feel pain from the loss, the key is not letting that pain rule my life. That is the problem with the flash backs, I loose control and become dangerous to anyone around me. It may not be mental abilities for you, but it doesn't stop people from seeing that you are a cold and calculating person. The emotions you show are not the ones that most people would willingly embrace. I am not sure if that is a strength or a weakness." He decided there would be a good place to stop. He was probably already going to make her somewhat annoyed with something he had said, but he was a philosopher, and that was the sad fate of many philosophers.
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Runa
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Posts: 128
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Post by Runa on Mar 31, 2010 18:13:59 GMT -5
She smiled. "But, I can fully embrace that as a compliment." Runa pointed out smugly. "Personaly, I think it is strength. Some may call weakness. On the other hand, others may call emotions also weakness. " She shrugged. "Opinions vary in that department." Perhaps she was not proud of it, but it was a way to survive, and it worked for her. Sure, she may have ticked off a few, but they are now long gone into the past, and she moved on.
"Allowing one to be ruled by his past, is no greatness. Stuck in the past, or looking too much to the future, and one will not have a life in a present." Runa looked over at him, indicating taht she was talking, not just in general, but directing it at Guy. He had his swing at her, now it's her churn. "Loosing control, over something that can not be changed... is not wise... nor brave... "
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guy
Refugee
There is love in the red letters, in the red letters.
Posts: 184
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Post by guy on Mar 31, 2010 19:39:59 GMT -5
Guy looked at her and answered, "You're absolutely right. Thankfully they have grown less frequent, and my actions less drastic. But it is a long and painful process breaking from the past when it has ruled ones life for as long as it has mine. That will take time. I can now remember many things from how it once was without grief, just sadness, but also joy to have had those memories. The trouble comes when I have flash backs. They usually happen in a state of physical weakness or when I am asleep. Working on controlling my emotions, reactions, and actions during this has come along way. I don't usually set things on fire anymore. Yes it is a weakness. But it is one that I hope to overcome in the near future, and so that I can live again, but I won't be able to do it on my own."
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Kalia
Queen's Army
Too stuborn to give in, too broken to care
Posts: 483
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Post by Kalia on Apr 18, 2010 17:54:21 GMT -5
"Naive...." Runa shook her head with a soft sigh, before looking up at Guido. He was still so young, with so much hope. Not to worry, it'll pass eventually. "Here's another tip for the future. If you want to survive, learn to be on your own. There is no one in this world that will be able to help you, nor want to help you... at least not with out a pay. Never expect charity."
He probably figured that out, Waefae wasn't the one for donations, or good deeds. Then again... it wasn't quite what they were talking about. Her eyes shifted over to the fire once again. Two things one can look at endlessly: How the water flows and how the fire burns. As she was about to saysomething else, tehre was a knock on the door.
"Come in." Runa called over, lifting her eyes to the door. "Madam, I brought some refreshments..." The servent girl walked in barring a tray of bottles and two glasses. "Set them on the table"The maid obediently came over setting the tray on the table by the two, before stepping away with a bow.
"The dresser will be here shortly The maid bowed again, before exiting.
"Drinks?" Malika asked curiously as she poure herself some wine."We've got a long night ahead of us... I suggest you get yourself relaxed."
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guy
Refugee
There is love in the red letters, in the red letters.
Posts: 184
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Post by guy on Apr 30, 2010 16:55:56 GMT -5
-Who is Malika?-
Guido poured himself a glass of wine, sniffed it and looked for any strange substances and then drank it. It was a habit of his, and considering how servants can be, and his present employer's connections to Waefaae, who knew if someone would try and kill him. He stood up, picked up his hat and asked, "Permission to leave m'lady?"
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Runa
Blood Members
Posts: 128
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Post by Runa on May 2, 2010 23:59:52 GMT -5
(Oops... sorry, I messed up some names...)
"Don't worry... it's not spiked. At least, I hope it's not, or the evening would be a fun one..." Runa shrugged as she took a long sip of her own wine. The cool liquid felt more then nice. She did wish that it would be something stronger, whiskey or ale perhaps, but, a proper lady does not even allow herself to think of such names... pitty really.
"Aye. But, be carefull of where you go, whom you speak with, and be ready when it's time." Runa smiled, giving him a small wink. Flirting wasn't her department, but, a little teasing here and there didn't hurt anyone. At least, didn't hurt them much. They've got a long evening ahead of them, and if he realy wanted, he might as well have some fun. Not often a dragon would be able to rest in a palace.
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guy
Refugee
There is love in the red letters, in the red letters.
Posts: 184
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Post by guy on May 4, 2010 20:09:50 GMT -5
Guido bowed, turned around, and strode to the door that led to his room. Since they were going to a formal dinner that evening, he wanted to wash the dirt of the road off of him. Within a few minutes he was soaking in a nice, warm tub of water. After he had thrown a bath robe on, he walked over to his travel bag, pulled out his black, red, and silver evening attire, stepped behind the dressing screen and changed. It felt good to be clean again. He shaved, made sure his hair looked presentable, and sat down to read his book of poetry by William Shakespeare. His weapons were near by and ready to be concealed while at the dinner. His evening attire consisted of polished leather boots, black suede leather breeches, a black tunic with red, silver, and gold embroidery in Celtic knot work patterns, his usual hat that was cleaned, and a black leather belt. This may not seem like what a noble man would wear, and more like his usual traveling clothes, but he was to play the part of a body guard, not a noble man.
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Runa
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Posts: 128
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Post by Runa on May 11, 2010 22:24:32 GMT -5
Runa sat back in teh chair, her eyes fallowing him, as he left. She remained still, sipping the wine, and slowly moving from teh glass to the bottle, wishing it were stronger. But, this had to be a palace... they wouldn't have ale or whiskey here..shame really. She sat motionless for quite some time, before finally begining to get herself ready: Bath, Make up, Dress, the works.
The maids did their usual routine, as they hustled around her, before clading her in a dress of bright red velvet, with purple and gold embroidory, and a black cape. She dismissed them, and only then hid her weapons, and put on her jewerly. Another night. Another body. Oh, death loves intrigue. And, Waefae better pay good for this one.
Yet, the time passed, and the bells rang, calling all to the Ball, anouncing it's begining. For the poor soul of Guido, the night will be long, indeed.
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